Princess by Courtney Cole

Author:Courtney Cole [Cole, Courtney]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lakehouse Press
Published: 2011-05-17T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

She still dreamed that she was a mother. For the first several weeks after losing the baby, she had dreamed that she was rocking her daughter in a snowy white rocking chair.

The dreams would change and sometimes she dreamed that she was cradling an infant swathed in pink clothing in her arms. The baby’s tiny hands rested against her chest and she could practically smell the powdery, heavenly baby scent.

Other times, she was rocking a beautiful little girl with caramel colored hair, just like her own. She was reading to her, relishing every minute of the quality time with her daughter. And then she would wake up. Every time. And every time, she felt the horrible, devastating emptiness of her loss rushing back to her.

As bad as those dreams were to wake up from, at least they were pleasant while they lasted. She had a taste, however brief, of what it was like to hold her daughter. Her new dreams were different. She dreamed that a baby was crying somewhere and she couldn’t find it. She inherently knew that it was hers, but she couldn’t find it no matter how fast she ran or how hard she looked.

Tonight, she had woken up with a start, her body sticky with sweat—both as a result of the heat and of the panic that she felt while she was dreaming. The dream was so real that she could still taste the fear in her mouth when she woke up. The fear that she wouldn’t find her baby.

As she lay still so she wouldn’t wake Stephen, she stared at the crackled popcorn ceiling, faced with the reality that her baby was lost to her. It wasn’t a fear, it wasn’t a dream… it was her truth.

She would never hold her daughter, never find her daughter because her parents had thrown her out like medical waste. Sydney didn’t even have a grave to visit her at. Resentment formed in her mouth and she swallowed hard to get rid of it. Dwelling on it wasn’t going to make it any better.

She swung her feet over the side of the bed and sat for a moment to collect herself. She was never going back to sleep right now. Her mind was too restless, too disturbed from all of the events that had been jammed into her life lately.

For the last week, she had been on virtual lock-down. Stephen hadn’t let her leave the house since the mystery assailant had tried to run them down. She had fallen asleep tonight while trying to put a face to the unknown attacker which is probably what had triggered her nightmares. She needed to clear her mind.

She walked as quietly as she could over the creaking boards of the aging house to the kitchen to grab a glass of ice water. As she stood at the sink, she stared out the window for a moment.

The light in her neighbors’ house was on and she could clearly see into their home.

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